Chickens, Capbearers, and Rock & Roll
by DJ Goth Boy
Summary: In a sinister plan to teach them a lesson, Skullmaster sets out to steal Korn's gear, including Johnathan Davis' kilts. Now it is up to the fabulous threesome to find a way to foil Skullmaster's plan and return the kilts to their rightful owner.


CHICKENS, CAPBEARERS, AND ROCK AND ROLL A Mighty Max fanfic Written by Travis Haight. Edited by Jessica Haight.  
  
Our story begins in Detroit, Michigan. One of the hottest rap/metal groups in America, Korn, is playing at the Pontiac Silverdome tonight, as part of their Sick and Twisted tour. The show starts at 8, and is for sure going to be one for the record books. At 2 pm, all the trucks are at the show. All of them that is, except the band's instrument truck.  
  
About 30 miles from the Silverdome, the equipment truck is putting along the highway, when one of the back tires blows out. Left with no other options, the driver of the truck turns on his emergency blinkers, and starts to walk a couple of miles back to get a tow truck.  
  
Meanwhile, Warmonger and two of Skullmaster's slaves take a portal over to the highway in Detroit, to steal Korn's instruments. Skullmaster, you see, holds an eternal grudge against Korn's frontman, Johnathan Davis, after seeing that he wears a kilt on stage during their shows. Since that is all he wears, Skullmaster felt intimidated with the fact that someone has stolen his style.  
  
Warmonger pulled out a pair of metal cutters from his loin cloth Speedo, and cut the pad lock on the back of the truck. They flung open the door, and went inside.  
  
"Grab everything!" Warmonger exclaimed, grabbing Fieldy's bass and Johnathan's bagpipes himself. Warmonger grinned and relocked the truck after everything was lifted out of it. Korn would sure be in for a surprise when they went to get on stage.  
  
*****  
  
"OH CRIMITY!" the truck driver screamed, as he discovered for himself that all of Korn's equipment was gone.  
  
"What's wrong, man?" Fieldy asked the driver.  
  
"Somebody jacked the equipment while I was gone to get a tow truck to fix the back tire. What are we going to do, man?" he squealed.  
  
"Not to worry!" Fieldy promised. "I know what to do."  
  
Just minutes after the discovery of the missing equipment, Virgil got a call on his new cell phone (because just having a hunch that something is wrong is so primitive). He take for only six minutes (because the rate for the additional minutes is outrageous, especially an international call), and then called for the aid of the Mighty One.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Max comes home from school, walks in the door, and runs up to his room, and runs up to his room to perform his trademark prelude to starting his homework.channel surfing to see if there is anything good on (then if there isn't his last option is of course, to start his homework). Eventually, he came to MTV, to discover than an episode of Beavis and Butthead was playing. Ironically enough, they were sitting on the couch, and watching TV.  
  
"Dammit! I need to see some naked chicks! Huh huh huh!" Butthead exclaimed, feverishly flipping through channel after channel of the usual daytime crap.  
  
"Yeah! Huh huh huh! That would be cool, if we could like, see Britney Spears naked, and dancing, except she wouldn't be like, wearing any clothes, huh huh huh!" replied Beavis.  
  
Just after that, Max was surprised to hear what Butthead said to Beavis next.  
  
"Yeah. That would be cool.huh huh huh. Hey, Beavis, it was cool the other day. There was this chicken walking down the street, and he said for the capbearer to go to the portal by the store that makes burgers and nachos. Huh huh huh. And he was all short, and he had morning wood. Huh huh huh!"  
  
After hearing that, Max grabbed his cap, and started to leave his room. Just as he left, he overheard the last few seconds of the conversation between Beavis and Butthead.  
  
"Hey, Butthead, he's actually a fowl. Huh huh huh." "Shut up, bunghole! (smacks Beavis) huh huh huh."  
  
*****  
  
Max ran down the road to Dan's Burger and Nacho shop, to discover a portal opening up. Knowing the whole drill, he followed the lit up trail from his cap, and started on the bumpy ride to Detroit.  
  
When Max arrived at his destination, he fell out of the portal, and into Norman's arms, to avoid any un needed fractured bones.  
  
"Greetings, Mighty One," Virgil exclaimed, as Norman released Max out of his arms.  
  
"Yeah, same back to you, Virgil!" Max exclaimed back. "So what are we doing in Detroit? Skullmaster captured Gene Simmons? Warmonger learned to sing, and we need to stop him before he decides to wear makeup and imitate Kiss?"  
  
"Not quite, Mighty One! You see, the band Korn was supposed to play tonight, but apparently, Warmonger and Skullmaster's slaves stole the gear out of the equipment truck, and are hiding it in Skullmaster's secret above ground lair here in Detroit. We must get the gear back before 8 tonight, so Korn can play their show. In addition, they took Johnathan's kilts, which they are using in a public burning, and we must stop them; the fate of the world lies in Johnathan's kilt!"  
  
"Oh man! I knew I should have brought my "Issues" cd! Hey Virg, I know we have a limited time and all, but I am really really hungry, because I never ate lunch. Can we please go get something?"  
  
"Oh alright. Let's break apart, and meet back here in 20 minutes."  
  
20 minutes later.  
  
The trio reconvened at the spot that they met up before. Virgil was the first to return. He sat down on a bench, and started to eat his egg salad sandwich and tossed salad. Next to come back was Norman, with 2 Big Macs, super sized fries, and coke. Eventually, Max came back, and was greeted with a dirty look from Virgil.  
  
"What in the heavens are you eating, Max?" Virgil exclaimed loudly, pointing at Max's red and white box marked KFC.  
  
"Well, uh. I thought I would get something other than a burger." Max replied, reaching for a drumstick. "Wanna piece?"  
  
"No, I'll pass!" Virgil exclaimed angrily, finishing his tossed salad. Eventually everyone finished up, and were ready to retrieve Korn's instruments. Moments later, a portal opened from Max's cap, which would take them to Skullmaster's above ground lair. Just a minute later, the portal dropped the trio in a hotel parking lot, just across the street from Skullmaster's above ground lair.  
  
"So what's the plan, Virg? Run up there, ask if we could use their phone, go snatch the instruments, and take the portal back to the Silverdome?" Max asked, wiping the chicken grease off his hands with a napkin.  
  
"Not exactly, Mighty One." Virgil started to inform. "You see, Skullmaster has a long history of bad marraiges, starting when he was only 1,900 years old. Now, that he is finally single for good, he keeps remembering his one time daughter who was a girl scout. Since she's not there any more, he completely misses buying Thin Mints when the time comes around every year.  
  
"So in other words, I should go in there and act as if his daughter has come back into his life?" "Sort of, except you aren't going to act as if you're coming back into his life. You're going to---"  
  
Just then, Virgil got a little bit closer to Max, to whisper his plan into his ear. About five minutes later, Max came out from a bathroom, dressed as a Brownie scout; he even donned a blonde wig, and the beanie atop that adorned his thick braids perfectly, and with a wagon full of all of the varieties of girl scout cookies in tow.  
  
"MMM! I eat girl scout cookies for breakfast!" "Oh no, Normy! These are three dollars a box!" "Do you take Lumerian Express?"  
  
After overcoming the embarassment, and the fact that he would never rank in Boy Scouts, Max grabbed the handle of the Radio Flyer, and pulled it to the door of Skullmaster's underground lair. As Max approached the entrance, Norman went around to the rear entrance, while Virgil started walking a mile down the road to rent a U-Haul, for when the other two sucessfully grabbed Korn's equipment. Max knocked on the door, to distract Skullmaster with his delights.  
  
"Can I help you?" "Uh, yeah. (raises voice generously) I'm selling Girl Scout cookies for Troop 300 in Detroit. Would you like to buy some for $3.00 a box?" "Do I? I'll take your entire supply of Thin Mints!" "Get some Carmel Delight's, would ya?" "Fine, Warmonger!"  
  
To his surprise, when Skullmaster went to his chamber to get his secret stash of American dollars, his "instrument collection" was stolen from his secret place. The big chain enclosure was slashed open by Norman's sword. Not only that, the window was busted, with the bust through marks of a man the size of a wookie, except with a lot more beefcake. Now, completely pissed off, Skullmaster went outside, told Max the sale was off, and searched aroind to find Norman.  
  
Eventually, Skullmaster found Norman, but his timing couldn't be better. Just seconds later, a $29.95 U-Haul came blazing down the road at 60 mph. Thank God it was an automatic. In the cockpit, Virgil drove carefully, with the windows rolled down, and Jimmie's Chicken Shack blaring on the truck's cd player. When he got to the lair, he stepped on the brakes, and shifted to park, after backing up to allow Norman to put the gear in the back. Norman beat Skullmaster, and was just in time to put the gear in the back, and get in the cab. Also, right on cue, was Max, ripping off his Girl Scout clothes, getting in the cab, and escaping an extremely pissed off Warmonger out of the house.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU SAY MY LOIN CLOTH IS OUT OF STYLE!" Warmonger hollered, raising his fist in anger. Now the big mission was completed. All that was left now, was to get to the Silverdome, and return the equipment and kilts.  
  
"Oh yeah, Max. I knew you wanted to get more out of this day, so I did a couple of other things besides get the U Haul. Look in the glove compartment." With that, Max opened the glove compartment, to find a brand new copy of Korn's second release, Life Is Peachy on cd, and three SICK AND TWISTED TOUR all access passes.  
  
"Oh man, or fowl, thanks Virg!" "No problem, but we better step on it!"  
  
Thirty minutes later, the U Haul entered the main gate of the Pontiac Silverdome. They got the equipment out, and ran to the setup room. Once there, they found the band there, delighted that their equipment was okay.  
  
"Oh, man! Thanks!" Munky said, shaking Virgil's feathered hand. As the crews went to tune and setup, the band and the terrific trio went to the green room to hang out and eat dinner. Once again, Virgil was shocked, and nearly mortified to see what the band, Max, and this time Norman were eating for dinner. In a basket on the catering table, sat about 100 pieces of barbecue, rotissary, and lemon pepper chicken. Instead of what everyone else was eating, Virgil reached for a couple of Garden Burgers, some mashed potatoes, then to the cooler before Fieldy grabbed all the Diet Sprites.  
  
The show began promptly at 8 pm, with Staind opening up, plus the Spike and Mike Sick and Twisted Animation Festival. At 9:30, Korn walked out, after a group prayer including Max, Norman, and Virgil. Everyone got a thrill out of the show. Max got his cd autographed, and Norman got a couple pictures with the band. Even Virgil enjoyed himself, as he got to go crowd surfing for the first time in his 10,000+ years of existance. 


End file.
